This Thing Right Here
by j0bberkind
Summary: Logan is smart, but maybe not smart enough to see what's right in front of him. James/Logan, one-sided Logan/Kendall.
1. Chapter 1

This Thing Right Here

What most people didn't understand about Logan was that he wasn't just smart, he was _brilliant_, probably more suited to graduate-level studies than high school. He was the classic booksmart math-and-science boy, acing his classes with terrifying ease and using big words in his sentences that James and Kendall didn't understand at all and that Carlos had gotten into the habit of following up with a mocking _gesundheit_. He hadn't studied for a test since second grade (state capitals had been tricky), and when he said he needed time alone to "study," he meant that he was poring over the graduate-level physics textbooks he had borrowed from a local college.

Sometimes the others asked him what it was he found so fascinating about science. Well, sometimes Kendall asked him. James' eyes had glazed over two minutes into his excited dissertation and Carlos had actually fallen asleep, that one time they had worked up the nerve to inquire. No, Kendall was the only one who remained fully conscious during Logan's animated ramblings, which suited Logan just fine. Having Kendall's attention all to himself without fear the others would jump in was more exciting than the astrophysics he'd been immersed in for the past three weeks as he worked to wrap his head around the up-and-coming theories in the science world. Kendall sat with him for nearly half an hour as he chattered on about the extent to which relativity could be taken in potentiality; it was practically intoxicating, and if Kendall noticed him shifting closer and closer on the couch, he didn't say anything.

Logan's most recent fascination, however, had been with computer science. After watching Gustavo's techies' careful fingers on the sound boards of the studio for months, Logan had finally caved and begged one to explain to him. Martin had been immensely patient and helpful, never begrudging the overtime he put in to teach Logan the basics of the boards and the trickier, more finicky tech of the mixing software. Soon Logan was moving around the four different screens that comprised the main editing station with ease, comfortable enough to work on sound bytes on his own.

And that's where the trouble started.

The band was in the studio today, recording for their new album. The song was yet another love ballad, the fourth on the album so far, and they had all been ribbing Gustavo about it. "You can't rush the genius of a rock song! Do not question the master," he had shouted at them, and Logan for one was secretly hoping that Gustavo would never again be struck with a more upbeat inspiration and would be forced to fill the whole album with love songs.

He sang next to Kendall, as usual, and closed his eyes to listen to his best friend's voice swell the sweet solos Gustavo always gave him. Objectively, Carlos' or Logan's own voice was better, with a stronger range and a fuller quality, but Logan loved Kendall's voice. The way it pulled through the high notes with his Midwestern accent made him smile, and the way Kendall nearly rested his lips on the microphone as he sang was _hot_. It was sappy and gross and it made him feel like a girl, but Logan loved to hear Kendall sing, would listen to Kendall sing all the time if he could.

But dammit if they weren't practically members of a barbershop quartet. To listen to Kendall sing, Kendall and Kendall alone, Logan would have to hold out for the solos or do something drastic.

And the Big Time Rush boys were nothing if not ones for drastic measures.

XXXXXXXXX

No one worked at the studio on Sunday, so it was a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon when Logan announced he had left a vitally important book in the performance room, a book he just _had_ to have by Monday morning, and so no one looked at him askance as he slunk out of the apartment and over to Roque Records. He let himself into the studio and carefully locked the door behind him before plopping into a swivel chair in front of the editing station and pulling copies of all their songs off a flash drive.

It was but a few moments' work to feed the first song into the software and isolate the different sound sources, and after a couple of careful deletions and some rearranging, he played the song back.

And only Kendall's voice crooned out of the speakers.

He listened, rapt and open-mouthed, as his friend sang through the whole song.

He played it twice through, then, practically feverish in his need for more, he worked quickly through the rest of their first album, then started on their second before moving on to the completed songs off their third. Nearly two hours later the last had completed its rendering and, finished, he sat back in the cushy seat, closed his eyes, and played through his work.

It was like magic. It was everything he'd hoped it would be, and he shivered to think what it would be like coming through his ipod earbuds at night, like it was meant only for him. Like Kendall was whispering in his ear. Oh, God, it was weird and screwed up and totally, totally _gay_, but that was what Logan was, right? Weird, screwed up, and gay. And smart, he added as a bit of a smug afterthought.

Smart enough to cut the feed for the security camera to the studio, anyway, a trick he appreciated with deep gratitude as he realized that even in the studio with the music coming out of the computer's speakers, he was already hard halfway through the eighth song. It wasn't even a love song, nothing intimate about it, but Logan still pushed his head against the back of his chair and quietly grunted as he rubbed himself off, coming hard and fast as Kendall sang about parties and summer fun.

He cleaned himself off and tucked the tissue into his pocket to dispose of somewhere less incriminating. Smiling to himself, he dragged the edited songs back onto the flash drive and purged the system of his work. He shut down the equipment and headed out of the studio, pausing only to snag a slim book on molecular geometry he had planted in the rec room on Friday and to flush his tissue down the toilet of the bathroom.

Back at the apartment, Kendall was working hard on the math homework Logan had finished in fifteen minutes in class on Friday. He looked up as Logan came in. "Find it? You were gone for a long time."

"Yeah. It took me awhile." Logan waved the book as proof and went to look over Kendall's shoulder. "Number four is wrong. And number five. And six."

"Shit," said Kendall, dropping his head onto the table. Logan draped himself teasingly over his back, internally gleeful at the contact.

"It's not _that_ hard," he said with a smirk.

"Not all of us do complex trig for fun, Logan," Kendall said, voice muffled in his arms.

"Want me to give you the answers?"

"Ugh. Yes. I'll learn it later," Kendall said, which they both knew meant _never_. Logan was really the only reason any of the other three were passing math this year. Kendall was really more of an English sort of guy, Carlos had more interesting things to do than study, and James…James wasn't exactly an A student on his best day. Rockstar fashion designers didn't need to be smart, he always told them.

Logan brought back his homework for Kendall to copy and surreptitiously watched him do it, pretending to read his book but actually focused on the way Kendall caught his tongue between his teeth when he was concentrating.

"Are you okay?" Kendall asked. "You're looking kind of flushed."

Logan tore his thoughts away from _tongue running up his chest suck lick bite_ and hastily replied, "Yeah, sure, fine," wincing at the way his voice cracked slightly in the middle. "I'm just gonna…go. Homework." He fled to his room. James was out, possibly a hair appointment—God knew he had those often enough—and he pulled his laptop onto his knees and transferred the contents of the flash drive to his music library, then synched his ipod. He had made sure to label the songs with names like "Chemistry Lecture 3" and "Professor Blake on Biophysics" to prevent discovery by a curious bandmate, but he still tucked the laptop back behind his biology library, where he had kept it hidden when not in use ever since he downloaded his first gay porn vid. His ipod he tucked into his back pocket and vowed never to let it leave his sight.

XXXXXXXXXX

Logan was the last to turn in that night, hoping to let James fall into his characteristic deep beauty sleep before getting into bed himself. He counted himself extremely lucky that his roommate was James and not Kendall. He didn't think the prospect of lying down next to the object of his desires would be worth the hundreds of sleepless nights he was sure would follow. Plus, it would probably be too creepy to jerk off with the person you were fantasizing about sleeping not three feet away.

In any case, Logan climbed into bed that night nearly shaking with excitement. He watched James for a moment until he was sure there was no chance of his waking up, then lay flat on his back and pushed in his earbuds. Stomach fluttering, he navigated to the "Science Notes" playlist and hit play.

It was ten times better than in the studio. Logan had been right: hearing Kendall out of his ipod earbuds felt like he was singing right in Logan's ear. If Logan closed his eyes and let his imagination work, he could almost feel Kendall's lips on the shell of his ear. It was sexy. It was _intimate_. Logan felt plastered to the bed, knocked flat and motionless. Kendall's clear, rounded tones were wrapping him in a cocoon of noise and it was all he could do to breathe.

The song changed to one of the slow, smooth love songs they'd been recording over the past weeks and Logan finally licked a palm and shoved his hand down his sleep pants to glide around his dick, not bothering with finesse. He bit his lip and pulled an arm around his face to smother the noises he made. He thought of Kendall, naked, sweating, singing for him, the words meant just for him. He sped up his strokes and hoped James wouldn't wake up. Kendall's voice rasped on a note and Logan remembered that this was a song they hadn't recorded perfectly yet—there were still flaws. Kendall did it again, that same growling catch at the back of his throat, and Logan moaned. A few strokes more and he was coming.

He wiped his hand on a tissue and tossed it in the wastebasket, then turned on his side to face the wall. The music was still playing, but—tension relieved—it was more achingly sweet than anything else. He didn't know when he finally fell asleep, but in the morning he awoke with one earbud still in his ear, playlist long since ended.

Mondays brought school in the morning and rehearsal in the afternoon, and Logan was inordinately pleased with the new song Gustavo had for them to work on. He scanned the lyrics eagerly as they were handed to him, eyes widening as he read.

"Uh, Gustavo…" Kendall began, "It's a little racy, isn't it?"

"Racy? Racy? Racy is what the public wants, dogs! A little bit of sexy is the difference between the top of the charts and the bottom of the heap," the manager said, waggling his eyebrows and, as usual, steamrolling their qualms with threats and appeals to Kelly.

They soon found themselves packed off into the rehearsal room to iron out the lyrics and melody. They sprawled on couches in the corner and, to their credit, at least made an effort to try out some of the harmonies before they fell to joking about the lyrics.

"'When we touch in the back of your car'? Is Gustavo serious?" Carlos said, laughing with his helmet askew.

"It's probably the sexiest thing a totally awesome band with our, er, _particular_ fan demographic can get away with," returned Logan, ever the realist, but secretly he felt as if a spring were winding within his stomach as he anticipated Kendall singing the words, low and rough, through his headphones.

"Particular fan demographic?" Carlos asked, confused.

"He means our fans are preteen girls," Kendall explained, with barely a lip twitch.

"It's all in how you sell it," said James over Carlos' groan. "For example," he got up and cocked a hip out, hooded his eyes, curled his lips, and sang, "God, when I look at you, the way you move, I want you, I want you _so bad_." His voice was heated and heavy, and he finished by smoothing a hand down his chest to dip a couple fingers into the waistband of his jeans. He glanced at Logan and pushed his tongue out to wet his lips.

Logan was sold, and while he would probably have come right there had Kendall been the one to give that little performance, he wasn't so stuck on the boy that he couldn't appreciate James' sex appeal for what it was. In any case, he definitely wouldn't be averse to seeing James do that again, preferably naked. "Bravo," he said, clapping and finding himself wishing he had a few dollar bills to shove into James' jeans. James winked at him, all charm.

"Well," said Carlos, clearly at a loss for words.

"I don't think we'll be allowed to do that in concert," Kendall said.

"Push boundaries. Be _artists_," James said, breathy and seductive, rolling his body in a slow undulation.

"Okay, that's quite enough out of you," Kendall said quickly, looking flustered.

"No, I think James should teach us how to have. Um. Sex appeal," Logan said, hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth. He swallowed and continued boldly. "Starting with our frontman."

James gave him an odd look, but luckily he was saved by Carlos. "You do kind of look like the baby giraffe at the zoo, Kendall," he said, grinning without malice. "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

Kendall looked at Logan, and Logan raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Fine," Kendall said, coloring only faintly. He stood up and moved awkwardly to stand next to James. "Teach me, sensei."

It was an uncomfortable twenty minutes, to say the least. Logan was half-hard and glad of his loose cargo pants five minutes in, and was sure he was a telling shade of red. Kendall wasn't a bad dancer, as much as he pretended otherwise. He seemed for the most part comfortable with his body, and moved easily through the motions James set for him. They danced in all of their concerts, of course, and all of their music videos, but they didn't dance like this, all crotch-grabbing and hip thrusts and alternating between powerful jerking movements and slow, rolling bends. Kendall wasn't as natural at it as James, and often Logan found his attention straying back to James' mouth-drying performance, but for the most part he soaked up every minute of Kendall attempting to "own his sexuality," as James kept instructing.

He wished desperately for a video camera. He cursed the fact that the security cams didn't monitor this room.

There was a heart-stopping moment when James finally released Kendall to flop himself back onto the couch and asked, "Next?," looking at Logan expectantly. Luckily, Carlos emphatically refused to participate, so Logan could turn James down as well. He shifted in his seat, trying to cover as much of his crotch as he could with the ends of his shirt.

Kendall slumped next to him, panting and sweaty. "How did I do? Sexy enough for you?"

Logan flushed and composed his face as Kendall rolled his head on the seat back to look at him from under sweat-damp bangs. "Uh, yeah. Definitely." He was proud that his voice didn't squeak.


	2. Chapter 2

Logan was smart. He knew it was a problem that he had it bad for his best friend, but from what he could tell from TV and movies, his situation was not that unusual. The gay thing might be a little outside the norm, but it was nothing he could help, so it was best, he had long since decided, to pine in secret and do what he could to keep from going insane. As far as he knew, Kendall had zero interest in men. He was also pretty confidant that Kendall would be weirded out by Logan's feelings, so it was best, in the end, to keep everything under wraps. _Everything_. He'd come out to everyone eventually—this _was_ LA, after all, few worries about homophobes here—but for now, he wanted everything to just…stay the same. Stay Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos, best friends, without any concerns about at whom Logan would be trying to sneak a glimpse changing.

But Kendall was just so…_Kendall_. Tossing an arm over Logan's shoulder after a hockey game, smiling up at him in a quiet moment with his eyes crinkling, defending Logan's weird sciency habits when Carlos and James started picking on him. He was also, of course, massively attractive, maybe not in the pretty, toned way James was or the disarmingly adorable thing Carlos had going on, but in a very real, boy-next-door sort of attractiveness that was exactly. Logan's. Type.

And when Logan popped his first boner while wrestling a nearly-naked Kendall in the pool all those years ago, he knew he was probably ruined for anyone else.

Admittedly, things had been coming to a bit of a head over the past year. They were seventeen, except for Carlos, who would have his birthday next month, and restless. Sexual tension colored the early mornings and late nights, and they had all sympathized with Kendall when it was clear Jo wouldn't put out, possibly even more than they had sympathized when she had left for New Zealand for good. Logan had given them the same story about Camille, though in truth she would probably have done it for him, had he been in any way interested. Virgins, the lot of them, except for James, who remained mysteriously silent about the particulars of his conquests.

In any case, they ribbed and teased each other about how much time they logged getting off, imitating each other's overheard moaning and shutting up fast whenever Mrs. Knight came into the room. Logan had accidentally listened to Kendall jerk off twice, once when they were camped together in a blanket fort one night several years ago and once when he had pushed into the bathroom to brush his teeth while Kendall was showering. Both instances stood out in sharp, glorious detail in his memories, and he revisited them often in his own wanking.

Like tonight. It was three weeks after the dancing incident, and production on that song had come to a close. Logan had snuck to the studio to edit his personal version and put it on his ipod four days ago, and had spent every night since getting off on it. It was honestly a tame song, as far as sex in the music industry went, but it was most definitely the hottest thing they'd ever done and Logan was caught in its fire. He was practically halfway to hard with the opening notes of the song, which had been interesting during rehearsals, and he didn't know what he'd do in concert. At night, though, with James fast asleep in the other bed, it didn't matter how turned on he was. He could indulge.

He lay on his back, the song playing on repeat and the memories of Kendall's low grunts and lightly rocking sleeping bag from that night in the pillow fort firmly in his mind. He turned his head to stare at the lifesize poster of the shirtless male model James had tacked over his bed—he said it was for inspiration and encouragement to keep in shape, and Logan didn't tease him for it for fear he'd take it down. He could easily imagine Kendall's face on the beautiful body, and it was enough to put his fantasies into overdrive.

He worked his hand over his cock, canting his hips up slightly on each upstroke. His breath came in gusts that he hoped with the two brain cells that weren't overloaded with pleasure weren't too loud, and he reached down to fondle his balls as the song cut into it's instrumental section. Kendall's voice returned and he pinched and rolled a nipple with one hand while mercilessly rubbing the head of his cock with the thumb of the other. His hips bucked at the treatment, but he didn't let up, and he let out a muffled squeal. He returned to slow, shaky pulls up and down the shaft while dropping his gaze quickly to see if James had heard him.

He found James staring right back.

The sheets of the other bed were moving in a familiar way, and it took Logan's terror-frozen brain a full second to realize James was jerking off too.

While watching him.

Logan's eyes widened and he felt the arousal that had drained from his body at the prospect of being caught suddenly, horribly, flood him again at the thought of his unknown exhibitionism, and suddenly James too realized he'd been found out. It was probably the expression on Logan's face.

James bolted upright, blankets falling down his sculpted torso. "Shit," he swore, eyes darting around the room as if looking for some kind of salvation. "Logan…"

Logan resisted the urge to press his face into his pillow. He rolled onto his stomach to hide the way his erection pushed at the thin sheets and took a deep breath, saying nothing.

"Logan, I'm sorry, I was just, just…" James sounded frantic.

"Just what?" Logan's voice was surprisingly calm, for all the way his heart was hammering inside.

"Just…getting off," James finished lamely.

He should stop now, Logan thought. Just shut up, turn to face the wall, and never talk about it again. Unfortunately, his voice had other ideas, because he kept talking. "By watching _me_?" He couldn't look at James, couldn't bear it. His eyes remained fixed on the pillow. He willed James to deny it, to pretend he'd only accidentally glanced at Logan and hadn't even realized Logan was masturbating and it was all a terrible, terrible coincidence and they could all just go to sleep.

"Yes," James said instead, sounding very small.

"Does that mean you're _gay_ or something?" Logan asked, finding himself putting a frightening amount of malice into the word—he didn't know he had it in him to do that. It scared him, a little. James clearly recoiled.

"Like you aren't! Jesus, Logan." Logan felt his heart clench—James _knew_—but James kept talking. "I'm not gay. I'm…I'm bi. Queer, really." He laughed shakily, clearly trying not to babble. They fell into silence for an agonizing fifteen seconds. Logan's cheeks burned. "So now you know." James sighed. "Logan, I'm sorry," he said, when Logan still didn't reply. "Would you please look at me?"

Logan slowly twisted his head, finally seeing James huddled against the wall, knees drawn to his chest. He looked miserable, but Logan had to—_had_ to—ask. "Why? Why were you watching me?"

James' face colored even darker and he smoothed his palms down his perfect cheeks. "You're so hot, Logan," he said, sounding as if every word were being dragged from him, so different from his easy banter around girls. "And you've been so out of it now that you've been jerking off to music." James buried his face in his hands. "I thought you wouldn't notice."

At least James didn't know the specifics of what he'd been jerking off to. "How long? Don't lie," he added.

"Ever since you started with the music." Logan stared at him, hard. James caved and shoved a hand into his hair, gripping it tight. "And before. For months. I just waited until…until you were…asleep. Before I. You know." James looked like he wanted to throw up. Logan was stunned. He'd never seen James like this before, so torn up with humiliation and stuttering out answers. He'd never imagined himself to be able to do this to someone. Logan suddenly realized he was in a place of real power.

"You wanna fuck me."

James' head shot up. "Not if you don't want me to," he said in a rush.

And wasn't _that_ an odd answer. "You…like me?" Logan hazarded.

The way James thunked his head against the wall was answer enough, but he still said, "Yes. _Yes_, okay?" He curled in on himself further, no small feat with limbs as long as his, and, clearly feeling too threatened, his expression turned angry. "I'm sure you're not so innocent. I bet you like one of us too. Who do you jerk off to? What are _you_ thinking about when you moan like that? Is it Carlos? Kendall? Oh, I bet it's Kendall. 'Oh, Logan, help me with my math homework. Oh, Logan, let's shower together after hockey. Oh, Logan—"

"Just stop it," Logan hissed. He ran a hand over his eyes.

It brought James up short. "No way," he breathed. "Oh, Logan. I'm so sorry. You know he's—"

"Straight. Straight, straight, straight."

"That must totally suck. At least my guy is gay."

"_Your_ guy? You think that just because I'm gay and you're…whatever... something's gonna happen?" Logan could barely believe they were having this conversation. He was sure that someday, fifty or so years down the road, he'd look back on this and laugh.

"Why not?" James asked, seeming to regain a bit of his usual confidence. "You're queer and frustrated, I'm queer and frustrated, why shouldn't we be queer and frustrated together? Except without the frustrated. We could totally solve that."

Smooth, Logan thought. "And this situation is apparently the optimum one for asking me out?"

James was apparently taking heart from the fact that Logan hadn't yet said no. "We don't have to date if you don't want to," he said eagerly, finally uncurling his legs and relaxing. "We could just…mess around. And still be friends. Best friends. With benefits." James grinned at him, half friendly and half predatory.

Logan was not exactly surprised to find himself actually considering the offer. Sure, James would probably get more out of it than Logan would, since he'd apparently been lusting after Logan for a while—something that Logan was not even bothering to attempt to come to terms with—but James seemed pretty confident that everything would be fine. And Logan was seventeen and had never even had another boy _interested_ in "messing around" with him. He would be lying if he said the thought of gorgeous James panting and naked with him didn't turn him on. He had one other concern, though—

"Are you sure it wouldn't ruin anything? The band—"

James shook his head, looking as if he knew the battle was already won. "I promise you that whatever happens, we'll still be friends. Deal?"

Logan wondered where his intelligence had flown off to that night, because he slowly nodded and said, "Deal."

"Fuck yes," James whispered, and then, louder, "Can I come over?"

"Um. I guess so," Logan returned, heart rate beginning to accelerate.

James slid off his bed and padded over to Logan's. He wore a white wifebeater and dark boxers, and Logan could see that he was still half hard. Logan moved over to give James some room, and he slid under the sheets and turned to face Logan, leaning on his elbow. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," Logan replied, but it was too quiet and he was sure he looked like a frightened bunny. He mentally ran through a few basic equations to ground himself. It didn't help. James smiled at him, and this time it was all warmth and the warm sparkle that was always in James' eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" James asked, and Logan moved closer obligingly, intensely aware that this would be his first kiss with a boy. James leaned over him and stroked along his arm with the hand not holding himself up, catching Logan's mouth with his own and gently licking in. Their tongues moved together slowly, and Logan quickly realized how very comfortable he was kissing James, not at all awkward like he had always been with Camille. He couldn't decide if it were the result of kissing a boy or kissing one of his best friends who was also a boy, but whatever the case, he relaxed into the situation.

Feeling bold, he wound his arms around James' back and pulled him down on top of him, feeling more than seeing James' smirk. They kissed lazily, then with more and more urgency. Logan wound his fingers in James' perfect shampoo-ad hair and James left his mouth to kiss across his jaw and down his neck. Logan was deliciously aware that they were both hard, but he would let James make the first move on that. The friction was glorious whenever they rubbed gently against each other as they moved.

It didn't take long for James to take the initiative. "Can I?" James asked breathlessly, and Logan knew exactly what he meant. He was aching, and he was sure James must be too. He was definitely feeling the built-up tension he hadn't been able to release earlier that night.

"Yeah," he replied, and James hooked his fingers in the waistband of Logan's thick sweats and tugged them down. Logan kicked them off and blushed as James openly stared at his uncovered cock. James slowly reached out and ran his fingers lightly over it, base to tip. Logan sucked in a breath.

"Hot. You're really hot, Logan."

"And that's coming from you," Logan said, laughing shakily. "Your turn."

James grinned, stood up on the bed, and pulled off his wifebeater and boxers. His dick, long, lean, and slightly curving, stood proud against his stomach. Logan's own was shorter than James', but thicker, too, so he felt they stood on fairly even ground.

"Scoot," James said, toeing Logan's side to nudge him to the middle of the bed. James planted a foot on either side of Logan and slowly knelt, tugging at the bottom of Logan's tee shirt. Logan stripped it and gasped as James lowered himself fully and began grinding down on Logan's groin, their dicks rubbing against each other perfectly. Logan pulled him forward and attached their mouths again.

James' breath was coming in huffs through his nose and Logan tried to keep silent, but the contact was too good. He whimpered into James' mouth. James broke away and presented his palm to Logan's mouth. "Lick," he said, and Logan mostly just slobbered on his hand with little finesse, but it seemed to get the job done, and James made a low noise at the feeling. He kissed Logan again, hard, as he snaked his hand down between their bodies and wrapped it around both their cocks to stroke together. Logan moaned and tried to buck his hips, but James was holding him down and grunting softly himself.

It was more than Logan could take, and he was surprised he'd lasted this long. He clutched James' back and broke away from James' mouth to groan, loud and low in his ear, as he shook with his orgasm.

It took a minute for James to follow. He sped up his strokes on his cock and made quiet noises of need, and finally Logan added his own hand, feeling the heat and silky smooth skin of James' cock for the first time. James dropped his own hand and made a tiny keening sound, and when Logan rubbed his thumb over the tip, just like he himself liked, James cried out and came.

Logan snagged a handful of tissues from the bedside table to clean them off as James lowered himself on shaking arms to lie beside him. "God, that was good," James said as Logan wiped up what he could of their come and chucked the tissues in the trash.

"Wow," was all Logan could manage.

"Was that your first…?" asked James, tangling his legs in Logan's.

Logan flushed again. "Yes. Not yours, though. Hey, who've you slept with? I know you're not a virgin."

"A girl. And a boy." He didn't elaborate, and Logan didn't pry.

"Only two?" Logan was surprised. From the way James talked, he was sure there had been more. James was being weirdly honest with him tonight, though; it wasn't like him. Usually he was more flash and gratuitous narcissism than this. He supposed it must come from the experience of getting off with someone.

"I talk a big game," James said, a slow smirk spreading across his face. Suddenly it vanished. "Hey, do you want me to leave? I…wouldn't be offended if you. Um. Didn't want me here."

Logan, who had been enjoying the warmth and ease he felt lying cuddled close to James, blinked and said, "Why would I…? No, stay."

James grinned and pushed himself closer. "Sorry, I snuggle."

It should have been awkward, being naked and base and sated with the boy he'd known most of his life, but it wasn't. It was like being presented with a sheet of complicated equations he knew how to solve. Logan attributed it to mutual attraction and the strength of their friendship, and when he felt James' soft dick resting against his hip, he thought nothing of it.

"What'll we do in the morning?" Logan asked, ever practical, as he thought of the mornings in which Carlos woke them both up by throwing Beanie Babies at their heads or jumping on their feet.

"I get up early to work out. It'll be fine," James soothed, and it was.

XXXXXXXXX

True to his word, James was gone when Logan woke up the next morning, and he didn't reappear until Logan was shaking Cheerios into a bowl for breakfast. He banged into the apartment freshly showered from the gym downstairs, hair still dripping. Logan froze for a second when he saw him, but James' easy grin put him back in his comfort zone.

"Are we gonna talk about this?" Logan asked, glancing around to make sure they were the only ones in the kitchen.

"We don't have to," James said, stealing a handful of Logan's cereal.

"Alright," Logan agreed, and James headed off to barricade himself in the bathroom to perform his daily beauty rituals. And that was that.

It was a bit rough, the first time Kendall, James, and Logan were all in the same room together later that morning. James looked from Kendall to Logan and gave Logan an expression full of pity. Carlos, coming into the hall after rooting for his helmet in his and Kendall's room, asked James if he were sick. Logan glared at him, but as the day progressed, he found that he liked having someone to share his secret with. When Kendall put his arm around Logan's shoulders at school and ruffled his hair before wandering off to find Carlos, James was there to pat him on the back and surreptitiously squeeze the back of his neck. After Kendall blew off their study session in the library to chase after some girl, James arrived books in hand and stoically sat through almost fifteen minutes of Logan's attempted explanation of vectors before they both gave it up as a lost cause. James had twice asked him who "Vector" was, and if they knew him.

James was, in short, being a perfect gentleman, and Logan felt more than a little guilty at playing along with his various kind gestures. James had admitted that he liked him as more than a friend, even more than a fuck-buddy, and here James was, helping to ease Logan's own unrequited crush on Kendall. It was more than he'd honestly ever expected out of the usually self-absorbed James, and less than he expected out of himself to take advantage.

Still, though, James didn't look like he minded overly much, considering he was now apparently getting his rocks off in the bargain, and Logan found that he lacked the strength to say no.

That night, just as Logan was settling into bed with a book on subatomic particles and wondering if he should ignore the heavy looks James was sending him from where he was putting…something…in his hair in the mirror, Kendall burst in.

In nothing but his fitted boxer-briefs.

Logan nearly choked on air, and it was all he could do to keep from just staring at Kendall's groin, where the thin material hid very little. He forced his eyes to stay on Kendall's face.

"Can I borrow some pyjama pants? And some clothes for tomorrow? Carlos emptied out the dresser to use the drawers as a stepladder, and I don't know where any of my clothes are." Kendall smiled with good humor, then reached down and hooked his thumbs in the band of his underwear, pulling it out and allowing it to snap back against his skin. "These are all I have left."

Logan couldn't speak if he wanted to. James took pity on him and rummaged through his own clothes for something that would be "stylistically appropriate for his face type," and Kendall soon left laden with at least three different outfits, plus the promised sleep pants. Logan stared at his ass as he walked away, biting his lower lip.

As soon as Kendall was gone, Logan jumped up, locked the door as best he could—it was always questionable whether the thing would actually stick—and leaned his head against it. James had moved to sit on his bed, back against the wall, and suddenly, sex seemed incredibly appetizing tonight. He stalked over to climb onto James' bed and straddle his friend, hating and loving the way James' face lit up as he did.

"Turned you on, huh?" James asked, grinning up at him.

"God," Logan said, half pleading, half affirming, all heartfelt moan. James reached down to cup him through the sweatpants he wore, and Logan dropped his head and rocked slowly into the grip.

"Strip," ordered James, and Logan did, scrambling off James to divest himself of his clothing while James did the same. Naked, James pulled him in for a fast kiss before pushing him to sit on the edge of the bed while James mouthed down his neck to his chest, then fixed his lips on a nipple.

"Ngh," Logan grunted as James sucked and bit the left nub before switching to the right. He pushed his fingers into James' hair, feeling the lightly moist remnants of whatever he'd been combing in earlier. James bent his head lower and licked down his stomach before dropping to his knees. He looked up and Logan and Logan stared back, wide-eyed. "Are you sure…?" he asked, hoping to hell the answer was yes.

In reply, James anchored Logan's cock with a hand around the base and wrapped his lips around the head, suckling gently. Logan couldn't help but cry out, and James stroked the back of his calf soothingly with his free hand. He pulled off and licked broad, hard stripes up the shaft before circling his tongue around the head. James glanced up at him and smirked at the dazed look on his face. He finally opened his mouth and guided Logan in, taking him deep until his lips hit the hand he had around the base.

Then he hollowed his cheeks and sucked.

Logan moaned and found his hips trying to buck up to drive himself deeper, to fuck James' mouth, and was helpless to stop them though he knew it was probably poor blow job etiquette. James pushed his free arm across Logan's legs just below his dick and forced his hips still with all the strength in his not inconsiderable muscles. He moved his head up and down Logan's dick, falling into a rhythm and keeping up the off-on-off-on suction pattern he'd started. Logan hoped he was breathing through his nose.

Logan could barely keep quiet, much as he knew there were others in the house. His low moaning seemed much too loud to his ears and combined obscenely with the wet noises James' mouth made. "James, I'm gonna come," Logan gritted out, and James pulled off to finish him with his hand rather than his mouth. It wasn't as good, but Logan wasn't complaining. James stood up and demanded a kiss as he pumped Logan fast and hard, and Logan barely had the control to comply before he was coming all over James' hand.

He flopped back on the bed while James cleaned himself on a tissue and didn't miss the way James' tongue darted out to lick a tiny smear of come off his thumb to taste. "Holy fuck," he said with feeling as James climbed up next to him. "That was…that was incredible. Thank you." He was still gasping for breath and James just looked at him smugly.

"Best of your life?" he asked, eyes crinkling just so, and Logan was reminded suddenly and sharply of Kendall's eyes and the way they crinkled when he was happy, but amazingly, he couldn't bring himself to spare it more than a passing thought. It was probably all the endorphins.

"Best of my life. By far." It took him three or four more heartbeats to remember that James still hadn't gotten off. He blushed. "Do you want me to, ah, do it to you?"

"You don't have to, but if you could just, uhh—" he gestured to his lap"—that'd be great."

Logan pushed himself up and back against the wall, then tugged at James' arm to get him to follow. He finally got James seated between his legs, his back pressed against Logan's chest. He could feel how much taller James was than he, but it was for the most part a comfortable position. Reaching his arms around to James' front, he smoothed his hands down James' chest and tweaked his nipples, though it didn't seem to have the same effect on James that it did on Logan. He explored James' body for a moment, tracing the lines of James' truly impressive abs before James rested his head back on Logan's shoulder and said, "Please."

James didn't take long. It had barely been two minutes of Logan working his cock before James was shuddering and jerking in his arms, come splashing against his stomach. He fell limp, turning his head to accept a kiss.

They eventually lay tangled up in James' bed, kissing slowly and deeply for so long that Logan lost track of time. Logan pulled away first. "I thought we were just messing around. Isn't this a little…I don't know…romantic?" he asked, wincing as the girly word left his mouth.

Something flitted across James' face, but it was gone before Logan could study it. "It's nothing you don't want it to be," he replied, and Logan was fast suspecting that was going to be his stock answer for all of Logan's insecurities. Still, though, James was happy, and it was just _nice_, being like this with him.

They kissed for a while longer before Logan burrowed into the pillow and blankets and closed his eyes. He could feel James' eyes on him, and he got the feeling that James would watch him long after he went to sleep. It must have been the exhaustion fogging his senses, because he found that he really didn't mind, and maybe, somewhere deep inside, he liked it.

He woke once, in the middle of the night, to James murmuring something. His first thought was that they were back on the tour bus and the others were playing poker or Skyping home at the table. He thought he heard James say, "I know you'd rather it be Kendall," and he tried to go back to sleep, convinced he was dreaming.

XXXXXXXXXX

They fell into a pattern, he and James. Nights were spent more often than not shaking and moaning in secret in each other's arms, while during they day they found themselves growing closer and closer. Logan became used to having James around him most of the time, browsing fashion blogs on the internet ("And you tell me you're not gay!") while he studied, discussing the mysterious patterns cut into their mashed potatoes at lunch, even bouncing their voices off one another in practice. When Logan's advanced bio prof had the nerve to correct him during class, James was the first one he went to to fume. And when James came to him in panic because he'd discovered a zit, Logan didn't even laugh at him as they trekked to the nearest pharmacy to buy some cream.

If Kendall realized he was being replaced as best friend among best friends, he didn't seem to care. He was honestly much too busy flirting with the two or three girls he had singled out as possible replacements for Jo, or with training for hockey, or with frontman duties, or with any one of the two hundred things that Kendall had always, as Logan was now realizing, put before spending any time with Logan. It stung, but now there was James to distract him, so he cared less than he probably would have several weeks ago.

James himself seemed, at times, to be floating on air, and Logan was trying to pretend he wasn't the cause. James had already been an obliviously cheerful person before, but now his happiness seemed more grounded, his smiles more real. Logan knew it all had the potential to end very, very badly, but right now, this thing they had right here was enough.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It turned out that blow jobs weren't that hard to give, once you got the rhythm right. James' hands scrabbled at the blankets as he neared release, and Logan refused to pull off even after James warned him. He didn't choke as his mouth filled with spunk, didn't even make a face beyond contemplative, and found that although it was salty and bitter, James' come didn't really taste all that bad.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

James raced out of the classroom from where the teacher had called him aside after math, clutching a sheet of paper. Logan was waiting for him outside, and when James threw himself into his arms and began hugging him and jumping up and down at the same time, Logan joined in without knowing why.

"I got a B on that last quiz! _Me!_ It's all thanks to your tutoring!"

Logan congratulated him profusely and carefully didn't mention that the quiz had been the easiest of the year.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The first time James asked Logan to finger him, Logan was a ball of nerves. James guided him through it, though, and upon seeing James utterly come apart on his pointer and middle finger, bucking and whimpering, Logan was intrigued. James was spent for a good ten minutes after that orgasm, but as soon as he was conscious enough, Logan hesitantly asked to try it.

He had to bite the pillow to keep from screaming when James first touched his prostate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Logan should have it" was the first thing out of James' mouth when Gustavo left them to discuss vocal arrangement and who should have the big solo of the next song.

"I—really?" asked Logan. Usually solos went to James or Kendall, though privately Logan questioned the politics that went into those choices. He was a little surprised that James would willingly relinquish the spotlight. Although, given the way James was looking at him, he supposed he shouldn't be _that_ surprised.

"I kind of wanted this one," said Kendall, frowning, and James glared at him.

"Don't be so self-centered," James said, and they all, even Logan, stared at him in shock.

The solo went to Logan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was sprawled out over James' chest, thoroughly enjoying his afterglow following an intense round of frotting. He stared up at the poster of the half-naked model over James' bed thoughtfully.

"You don't really have that there for inspiration, do you," he said. James reached up to pat the poster affectionately.

"Nope. I keep him there because he's hot."

"Ever gotten off while looking at him?" Logan asked.

"Yup. Have you?" he asked knowingly.

"Yes," Logan admitted.

"I know. I've watched you doing it," James said lowly, fingers straying to play with Logan's nipples, and Logan knew there would be a round two tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

They were on the floor of the bedroom tonight, a wrestling match over a bag of fruit snackers having turned dirty almost as soon as it had begun. They were naked, kissing and grinding slowly, Logan on top, James with one long arm down to press his spit-slick fingers teasingly against Logan's hole. They both groaned and bit out grunts occasionally, but it wasn't yet about the race to orgasm; they were just letting off steam and enjoying feeling good.

And then the door opened.

As luck would have it, they were in the perfect position for the light from the hallway to wash over them and their extraordinarily compromising position, and the first thought in Logan's mind was that they should really get that lock fixed. They both froze, deer-in-the-headlights fashion.

"What the hell?" hissed Kendall.

And then he was gone, his hurried footsteps echoing down the hall through the still-open doorway. Logan jolted off James, spitting out a litany of fucks under his breath as he fumbled for his sweats. He looked at James once before he dashed through the door after Kendall, and saw that the other boy was white faced and wide eyed, breathing hard.

He bit his lip and hesitated, but ultimately took off in the direction Kendall had gone. He found Kendall in the kitchen with a glass of water, staring into the cup. He didn't look up when Logan stopped several feet from him.

"What the fuck, Logan," he said.

"Look, it wasn't what it l—"

"Wasn't what it looked like? I'm pretty sure it was exactly what it looked like." Logan said nothing, _could_ say nothing. "So, what, you're gay now or something?"

Logan shrunk back. This was not how he'd expected his coming out to go. "Yes," he said in a small voice.

"And James? He's gay too?" Kendall was still refusing to look at him, and his voice was harsh.

"That's…for James to answer, not me." Even in this situation, he wouldn't out James.

"And you're fucking?" Logan wished he could unsee the face Kendall made into his water glass, like he'd tasted something disgusting. "How long?"

"That's really none of your business," Logan said, beginning to find his voice again. "If you've got a problem with gays, just say it, Kendall."

Kendall finally looked at him, and he didn't look happy. "I don't have a…problem…with homos, but it's just fucking weird when it's your bandmates, okay? It's just…" He broke off and shuddered lightly, making that face again.

Logan narrowed his eyes. "So what are you gonna do about it? You clearly think we're…_unclean_, or something."

Kendall didn't disagree. "Look, Logan, you're still my friend, and I support you and whatever, but you've gotta admit this is kind of wrong. You and James? Screwing in the next room?"

"That's right. James and I, screwing in the next room. Fuck you, Kendall."

Logan turned tail and walked with as much dignity as he could back to his room, passing James, who had found some clothes, listening in around the corner. James wordlessly got up and followed him, and this time Logan made sure the door was well and truly locked before curling up on his bed and crying like little girl. James came over to sit gingerly on the edge of the mattress, clearly poised to get out if Logan didn't want him there, but Logan found that he really wanted nothing more than to have James close to him. He fisted his hand in James' shirt and tugged, and James seemed to get the message. He tucked himself around Logan and held him while Logan's heart broke and he cried for the boy he'd loved half his life.

It took only about an hour for him to run out of tears. He blew his nose, wiped the snot and water off his face, and buried his face in James' chest. James rubbed his back and said nothing, which was for the best. Logan slept fitfully and was intensely glad the next day was Saturday.

He slept through breakfast and woke up to James bringing him a glass of orange juice and some toast. "I told them you were sick," James said.

"Thank you," said Logan, and didn't mean for the food. James seemed to understand. "Do the rest of them know anything?" Logan asked, and then, even though it hurt, "How was Kendall to you?"

James' mouth tightened. "No one knows anything. Kendall was…distant. Polite, though. Give him time. I think he'll come around."

Logan thunked his head back onto his pillow and ignored the pressure in his bladder. He didn't want to leave the room. "I can't believe he saw us," he murmured. His voice was hoarse from crying.

"Are you…ashamed?" James asked, shuffling his feet.

"Huh? No," Logan said, and found that it was true. "Embarrassed, though. Humiliated. That was private. And what he…the way he looked at me…" Logan couldn't go on.

"I heard. He'll come around," James repeated, and spent the rest of the day fending off Carlos, who kept trying to come in to dispense medical advice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Coming around" apparently took a very long time indeed. Kendall was never quite cold to either of them, but there was a definite distance in the way he now interacted with them. There was none of his previous camaraderie or the easy friendship they'd had since they could barely walk.

At first Logan was distraught, then the swirling grief turned into a base-line depression, which eventually gave way to anger. Who the fuck was Kendall to shun him now, after he'd known him all his life? What could he possibly be afraid of? He knew James was receiving similar treatment, but Kendall's wariness felt personal, like a knife to his heart, despite James' various promises to send Bandana Man after him.

Objectively, he had always known that he and Kendall would never be more than just friends. Fantasies and dreams were rarely based on objective thinking, though, and he was feeling the death of these dreams keenly.

At night he no longer went to James' bed, and James no longer asked him to.

He was still around, though, James was. Still as present in Logan's life as always, and even more so now. He seemed determined to stick by Logan whether Logan wanted it or not, and wherever Logan was, James was there too, tweaking his hair in a mirror or bookmarking pages in _GQ_ or struggling in vain to get through a Jane Austen novel for class without falling asleep. Carlos, true to form, hadn't noticed anything amiss, and sometimes he joined them when he wasn't following Kendall around, who always had other places to be than wherever James and Logan were.

James was there, and Logan was grateful.

One night Logan lay on his back and scrolled through the songs on his ipod in an effort to battle insomnia, stopping when he came across one labeled "Practical Astrophysics: A Dissertation." He stared at the title for a long time, realizing that it had been over four months since he'd last listened to those songs he'd edited. He thought of the night when James had caught him and he had caught James, and felt nothing but warmth. He uncertainly pressed play, and Kendall's voice filled his ears. The song was one of their early pop hits, and he listened to the song all the way through, staring at the ceiling, then found a couple more of the edited songs to listen to in silence.

Four months ago he'd have been hard and panting from listening to Kendall and Kendall alone telling him he wanted to be his "boy-boy-boyfriend," but now he felt…nothing. The place inside him where all the Kendall-feelings had been before was now cold. Empty. He pondered this impassively, idly contemplating where something that had been so much a part of him for so many years had gone, wondering if it had decayed like a radioactive isotope with a speedy half-life.

What did he want from Kendall now? Friendship, he decided, and nothing more. What he wanted most was for Kendall to get over himself and come back to being his friend again. He longed for the easy brotherhood that had existed between them before this mess had started.

And what did he want from sweet, thoughtful James? James, who had most emphatically "gotten over himself" to be there totally and absolutely for Logan when Logan needed him most. He pictured him with his pretty face and his perfect body and the way he had nearly fought Kendall to give Logan that solo, and he felt heat bloom in his chest.

Then he contemplated James falling apart in orgasm from just Logan's fingers inside him and felt heat bloom in lower regions as well.

_Oh_.

Well then.

Logan got out of bed and strode to the door, making sure it was completely locked before moving to stand a few feet from James' bed.

"James," he said. James lifted his head, a little blearily. "Can I…get in?"

"What? Oh, yeah, God. Fuck, please." James scooted over and threw back the covers for Logan, who wormed his way in until he was nose-to-nose with James.

They stared at each other for a moment, James clearly waiting for Logan to speak first. "I think it's safe to say," Logan began, "that I'm over Kendall."

"Yeah?" James breathed.

"It took awhile, but I came around," Logan said, throwing back the phrase James always used whenever Logan was looking down about Kendall. James said nothing, but the hope in his eyes was breaking Logan's heart. "Kendall and I will never happen, and I don't care about that anymore. But what about…what about you and me?"

"Am I…Kendall's replacement?" asked James, looking as if it killed him to voice the words.

"No," said Logan. "You're James."

Logan crossed the few inches of space between them and kissed James gently, and it took barely a heartbeat for James to wrap his arms around Logan and haul him close.

Their handjobs later that night were slow and achingly sweet, and it seemed that James couldn't stop kissing him, whining into his mouth when he came at last. James pressed his face into Logan's shoulder as they lay in their afterglow and said, "I love you, Logan."

Logan's hand stopped where it had been rubbing circles on James' back. "What?" he asked, sure he must have misheard.

"I have for years." He was quiet for a second, then, "I've always been watching you, wanting you. I guess you were too busy doing the same thing to Kendall to notice."

Logan's arms tightened around James. "I'm sorry," he said, "for not noticing. And—"

James cut him off. "Don't feel like you have to say it if you don't mean it. I can wait, honestly."

"Well then, I like you. I _like_ like you," Logan said, laughing a little at how much he sounded like a middle schooler, but pleased at how it made James laugh too.

"Good enough for me," James said, and moved his head to tongue over a nipple, knowing how much Logan liked it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

James had beautifully feathered eyelashes, as Logan had been noticing all through English rather than paying attention to the teacher's deconstruction of _Sense and Sensibility_. James himself was doodling little spirals all over his notebook, but when he finally looked up and caught Logan staring, he winked and flashed Logan his patented James Diamond grin, the one he used to woo girls without even opening his mouth.

_Had_ used to woo girls. Logan realized with a shock that he hadn't seen James make a pass at a female in months, and he knew why. It warmed him to the tip of his toes, and he jerked his chin at the door, hoping that James got the message to follow him. He walked out of the room, confident that the teacher would just think he was headed for the bathroom, which, to be fair, he was. When James joined him a moment later, he whispered, "Come on!" and led the way to the nearest single-stall handicapped bathroom.

He dragged James inside and pushed him up against the door, clicking the lock and fastening their mouths together. He was acutely aware that this was the first time they had done anything of the sort outside the confines of their bedroom at night. James responded enthusiastically and slid his hands up the back of Logan's shirt. They kissed eagerly for a few moments before James drew back.

"Thanks for that. I was so bored. That book makes my head hurt."

"English is a drag," Logan agreed. "You're a lot more interesting than Austen."

"I thought you loved school," James said teasingly, reaching up to stroke a thumb across Logan's cheek, and Logan found he didn't mind the intimate gesture.

"Math and science guy," Logan reminded him, and James laughed.

"I guess we don't have enough time for a quickie," James said, and Logan shook his head before pulling him down for another kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan sat on the edge of James' bed shyly that night. From behind him James licked up the side of his neck before fastening his lips over Logan's pulse and starting to suck, trying to give Logan the ghost of a hickey. Logan shivered a little.

"James…do you want to have sex?" he asked quietly, staring at the opposite wall.

"Thought that was what we were doing," James mumbled into his skin, tilting to nip his earlobe.

"I mean _sex_-sex."

James stilled. "You mean—"

"Don't say it," Logan muttered in embarrassment.

"Are you sure?" James asked, excitement in his voice.

"Yeah," Logan breathed, and James pulled him back to kiss him.

"I have condoms," James said, after they were both red-faced and breathing a little harder. "Um, which position do you want? I'm fine with either."

"I think…top…tonight. If that's okay." Logan could feel himself flushing, which was insane, considering all he'd done with James, but this just felt more intimate than anything they'd tried.

"Fuck, yeah, that's more than okay. Hang on," James said, and reached down to retrieve the lube from where it was wedged under his mattress. James quickly kicked off his boxers while Logan shimmied out of his sweats, and soon they were sprawled on the bed, touching and kissing. James pressed the lube into his hands and said, "There's a strip of condoms where the lube was," and it took only a few seconds of feeling for Logan to find them and place them on the bedside table.

"I looked some stuff up," began Logan, and James snorted, "but I'm not really sure…"

"It's fine," said James. "Just focus on stretching me when you're fingering." Logan nodded and dribbled lube over his fingers. James spread his legs. He pushed one finger inside and curled it just so with the ease of practice, gratified when James arched and let out a shaky breath. He rubbed over James' prostate with the pad of his finger just to see James buck. "No teasing," James said breathlessly, "I'll come."

James held up his hand and demonstrated the motions Logan should follow, and it wasn't long before Logan had three fingers in James, scissoring them apart as wide as he could to open him up. He kneeled between James' legs as he did so, wanting to kiss James but also wanting to do this perfectly. James shuddered whenever he accidentally brushed his prostate and was breathing hard, precome leaking from the tip of his dick. "You've done this before," Logan said, and it wasn't a question.

"Yes—ohhhh," James said, the word turned into a moan. "Fourth finger now," James said. "You're kind of thick." Logan pushed in his pinky with the others, amazed at how wide James was stretched around them. It was only a moment longer before James said he was ready, and Logan pulled out and fumbled with a condom wrapper. He managed to get it on correctly, feeling the heat of James' gaze on him. He slicked his dick with probably too much lube and crawled on top of James, who pulled him down for a kiss. "Just guide it in slow," he said, and Logan did.

The heat was incredible, but not as incredible as the tightness. It felt as if his cock were in a vice, and he couldn't help the choking moans he let out as he inched his way in. James was biting his lip with his eyes squeezed shut beneath him, and his hands smoothed down to grip Logan's hips. He held Logan still once Logan was fully seated within him. Logan braced himself on his forearms and looked at him in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

James still hadn't opened his eyes. "Mmm-hmm. Just gimme a minute." Logan waited, pressing a light kiss to the corner of James' mouth, struggling against the twin urges to thrust and to come right there as James' inner walls shuddered around him. "Okay," James finally said. "But slow."

With every ounce of his self-control Logan forced himself to move as slowly as possible as he drew out and pushed back in. It felt fantastic, and he could only hope James was getting the same amount of pleasure. On the fourth thrust James began to respond, pushing back slightly to meet him, and on the fifth his eyes flew open and his hips bucked. "Right—there," James gritted out, and Logan tried to copy his last thrust with relief. He succeeded. "Mmmm," James moaned, and Logan reached a hand down to work his dick. "Faster."

Logan complied, aware that the pleasure was almost too much and that he wouldn't be lasting much longer. He pumped his hips and James dragged his face down to fuck Logan's mouth with his tongue. Logan finally came so hard he felt as if his orgasm were being wrung from his bones, and he suddenly his limbs wouldn't hold him up anymore and he collapsed onto James.

James let him catch his breath for a moment before twisting beneath him. "Logan," he whined, trying to rub his dick against Logan's stomach. Logan pulled out with a wince—oversensitive—and carefully pulled off the full condom. He wrapped it in a tissue before sliding down James' body to suck his cock into his mouth. He pushed two fingers into James' still-open hole and quickly found his prostate, rubbing hard and sucking the head of his cock in tandem. James came with a howl and Logan tried not to choke as he bucked into his mouth. He swallowed James' come and crawled up to flop beside him.

James panted, pulling an arm around bonelessly to grip Logan's shoulder. "Was it good?" Logan asked anxiously. James could only nod. Finally he found his voice, though he sounded a little hoarse.

"God, Logan."

Logan smiled and fitted himself around James, pillowing his head on James' chest. Sex was exhausting, he had discovered, and found himself ready to sleep. James brought a hand up to stroke Logan's hair and he wasn't conscious for much longer.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was, as it turned out, the biggest bottom ever. James had him on his hands and knees for his first time ("it makes things easier," he'd said), and Logan knew that as far as first times went, his was pretty spectacular. Even James was surprised at how much Logan loved it, and told him that hearing Logan moan his name while he fucked him was the hottest thing he'd ever experienced.

Logan was sore for a bit after, but that didn't stop him from asking for it again two nights later.

Anal took effort, though, and time and preparation, so they didn't do it nearly as often as they just tumbled around in the sheets together. Logan wondered how he'd ever lived without getting off with someone nearly every night, and hoped to hell there would be some kind of privacy on the bus during their next tour. He and James weren't boyfriends, not in so many words, but he could feel how well they fit together, could feel James' commitment to him every time they were together. They didn't need labels to know they were a couple, at least in secret. Secrecy was actually fine with Logan. He had never felt any kind of burning desire to hold James' hand in public when shoulder bumps would do just fine, or to stake his claim through excessive PDA. There was always a private corner to drag James into if he needed to touch or kiss, and it was easy and uncomplicated and _right_.

In fact, the only thing that wasn't right with his life was Kendall. Things were still most assuredly _not okay_ between them, and Logan was beginning to wonder if they would ever be. He would never have expected that Kendall was this uncomfortable with homosexuality, but homophobe or not, he just wanted his friend back.

He said as much to James one night as they murmured together about the day and the upcoming tour. James bit his lip and glanced away. "I've been thinking about that," he said.

"And…?"

"I think we have to tell Carlos."

"_What?_" Logan asked, too loudly.

"No, hear me out," James said, finding Logan's hand and interlacing their fingers. "Carlos is oblivious, right? But I don't think he's narrow-minded. I don't think he'd really care that we were…uh…"

"Together," Logan supplied, and watched James' face fill with surprise and love.

"Together," James agreed. "Anyway, once Carlos accepts it, Kendall will have no choice but to get over it. It's foolproof."

"Foolproof," Logan echoed, getting that terrible sinking sensation he always got when one of them cooked up another ridiculous plan doomed to failure. "You really want to tell him?"

"Yes," James said confidently, and Logan had no choice but to go along.

"You're doing all the talking, though," he warned, and James laughed and kissed him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

They cornered Carlos the next day, while Kendall was off doing whatever it was Kendall did to get away from them. "Hey guys, what's up?" Carlos asked, looking up from his game of Castle Smashers to give them his usual infectious grin.

James glanced at Logan, who just raised his eyebrows. They had briefly discussed what James would say beforehand, but who knew if James would stick to it. "Carlos, can you keep a secret?"

Carlos' eyes lit up. "Absolutely! What is it? What is it?"

James looked at Logan again helplessly, and Logan could see all their strategies go out the window. "Logan's gay, I'm queer, and Logan and I are together." Logan closed his eyes and waited for the shitstorm.

Carlos stared at them, then started to cackle. "Ha! You had me going for a minute, there, James. Good one."

"It's true," Logan said quietly, and then Carlos got a look at his face and sobered up.

"Oh, man, are you serious? Wow." He was silent for a moment before opening his mouth again. "More girls for me! And wait, isn't this a good thing? Why are you two so gloomy? Shouldn't you be happy? Congratulations!" And then Carlos was just Carlos, jumping around and shaking their hands like they'd just won an award, babbling about love and how they should throw a party with cake and did gays eat cake? and no, that was silly, everyone ate cake, and oh, what about _rainbow_ cake! and on and on and Logan had to love him for it.

"It's a secret, remember?" James said, cutting into his rambling, looking pleased and maybe a little smug.

"My lips are sealed! Can I tell Kendall?"

James grinned. "Yes, absolutely tell Kendall. Be sure to mention to him how happy you are for us. Why don't you go find him now?"

Carlos agreed readily and scampered off to find Kendall with one final "Congratulations!" thrown back over his shoulder. When he was gone and the apartment was empty, Logan sank down onto the sofa.

"I cannot believe it went that well," he said, passing a hand over his face.

"What'd I tell you?" James sounded like he was smirking. He straddled Logan on the couch, sitting in his lap and holding his face between his hands. They kissed deeply, and Logan could feel James' relief just as surely as he knew James could feel his own. He pushed him off when James started to grind his hips in little circles, though.

"Not on the couch," he whined, and James laughed, not at all put out.

Dinner that night was awkward but wonderful. Carlos sat himself across from Kendall and kept making odd faces in his direction, and when Kendall finally asked Logan what he thought about the city listings for the upcoming tour and could he please pass the salad, Logan knew Kendall and Carlos had _talked_. James smiled at him from his place next to Katie, and Logan knew things would be all right.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It was Sunday, and Logan had snuck into the recording studio again. He fed their collection of songs through the editing software and methodically deleted Carlos' voice from every one. His own voice was the next to go, and then Kendall's, until all that was left was James' voice, sharp and soaring, against the music. Satisfied, he leaned back in the swivel chair, grinned to himself, and pressed play.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Complete! Thanks everyone for reading, and if you haven't already, I'd love it if you'd drop me a review. I had so much fun with this fic. The story was originally supposed to be Kendall/Logan, but then James tapped me on the shoulder and told me he had something to say about that. I'm trying to get back into writing—Lord knows I need the practice, so hopefully I'll start in on something new soon!


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